Martin may go to preschool next year. I’m not sure yet. I’ve set up a few tours, though. There are 58 million preschools in my area, and they seem to fit into one of three categories: 1. church-run, 2. big-business-run, 3. college tuition-expensive ($10,000?!), but cool. Maybe this is just how preschool is–I went to one run by the town high school, and since this is my first foray into preschool-land since then, I am out of the loop. And not sure I want to be in it.
In a local magazine, area residents voted on their favorite preschools, so I decided to start there. One of them, after last week’s visit, will hereby be known as Preschool Hell.
I have, however, retained enough of my critical thinking skills, even after this visit, to realize that this place did seem like a safe, clean, fairly caring, and somewhat stimulating environment for children. A thirty minute tour and a meeting with someone who seemed to know how to push every one of my get-pissed-off-right-away buttons does not a fair and complete analysis of a preschool make. I have deliberately censored myself in casual conversations with people while discussing this place–but I don’t have to here. (And if they ask my honest opinion, they will get it.)
Fine. So why is it Preschool Hell?
Highlights of the tour by the owner-manager-corporate-hack-whatever-she-was:
1. She said “corporate” more times than should ever be said in a preschool. Corporate lesson plans, corporate standardized testing, corporate oversight, corporate offices, corporate menus, corporate brain implanted into her head . .
2. The bragging about some kind of crazy standardized testing that they do so that I can compare my child to all of their other students nationwide. Standardized testing, implemented how it is in the schools that I have taught at, makes me ill. I don’t intend to start with it in pre-kindergarten–especially when she pretended it was for me, but my husband suspects that it is for them.
3. The same ol’ “boys are such trouble” thing. “And you have these two boys–and we know how boys are.” Oh, no, she didn’t. “They have so much trouble staying focused and just want to run all day, so we counter that with lots of structure.” And have princess tiaras and Bratz doll requirements for the girls?
4. A constant refrain of educational buzzwords, with an air of trying to impress? intimidate? I didn’t say: “Look, baby, if you want to get into educational theory and educational jargon and standardized testing with me, I’ll make you wish you didn’t get out of bed this morning.” Oh, that’s right–I coulda been the snottiest, snobbiest edu-bully that that preschool fraud had ever seen at 9 am. And toting two tots as I did it. But, really, my opponent was not worthy. She was a preschool-hell robot, and had been programmed by the corporate offices. I think that those corporate-made lesson plans probably printed right out of her stomach somewhere. It was somewhat fascinating to watch.
Ugh. That’s enough. There’s more–like the claim of ten kids per teacher, but not seeing it in most of the rooms, the price for what seemed mostly to be babysitting (with extra fees everywhere I looked), and the impression that there were no actual teachers in the place, but I would rather think and write about sewage and mayonnaise than pre-school these days. I need a break.
Ugh. That does sound like Hell. I am super glad that Em will have access to free Montessori preschool next year. We can’t afford the good preschools, and the ones we can’t afford? Awful.
I hope you find something that really works for your family.
ugh is right. just remember to breath because you’ve got a loooong hunt ahead of you…
Oh, I hope you find someplace good. And stay away from hell. Corporate this, robo-teacher. (Gesturing rudely, although I know she doesn’t deserve it.) I am starting to wonder if my wide-eyed support of public schools will survive standardized testing.
The alternative to those three categories, which are pretty much ubiquitous, is the co-op preschool, which is what I did with my three older boys when we lived in Texas. I loved them, loved the way they educated me in managing large groups of small people gently and with scripts totally different from my own. And I loved seeing my kids in the context of all these other kids their own age so I could see how normal their aggravating behavior really was. But they don’t necessarily give you much time off from your kids — I helped in the classroom once or twice a month, and had to figure out care for siblings. In Portland, there are apparently hundreds of co-ops and they all have wait-lists and lotteries the February before school starts. My problem is, I tend to think “Oh, we could use a break and a sense of community, and get you used to other grown-ups, let’s try preschool” on about August 1st which is not good. So my youngest is going to a county-run program as a “peer” in a program for lots of kids with “special needs” — and it’s not getting him ready for Harvard, which is probably just right for us.
I appreciate these comments. Thank you.
Radical Mama–I’m so happy for you that you have that option. I wish I did. I’m in love with Montessori. I’ll visit a couple of those, too, and I’m tempted to do the whole elementary program there.
And like you, Theresa, I love public schools, and it was only one of the three districts that I had extensive experience in that drove me crazy with standardized testing. The other two were just like, Hey, take this test, they want some feedback, no big deal. We’ll make it feel like a little break rather than ramping up the pressure. The third district felt intense pressure–and passed it on to everyone else. I think it was tied in with funding, real estate concerns, etc. I tried to ignore it. Impossible.
Mara–thanks for the co-op idea. I remember hearing something about preschools like that, but I hadn’t yet come across any. I checked, and it seems there’s a good one not too far away. I’m going to look into it. I am so not into the year long plan for preschool either–not my style. I think my son would really thrive in the peer program that you described–I can teach him the academic stuff, but in an environment like that, he would be learning amazing things about connecting to people. Wow.
Thanks for the advice, serahrose–I’m usually a “this will all work out” person, and lately I’m feeling this weird stress and pressure over this. It’s f-ing preschool!!! I’m going to breathe right now! Here I go …
ICK – ICK – ICK.
I visited a scary corp. place twice — once when my dd was 2 and then again, 2 years later for ds, hoping it had improved or that I had a bad first impression. NOPE! Awful. The only good part is that when they called to say they had an opening, I told them that they could take me off the list and when the director asked politely why, well, I told her. we talked for about 10-12 minutes about how bad the place seemed. It felt good to tell them.
I have a dreamy preschool. Keep looking. Keep looking. Keep looking. The $10k — is that for pt 2-3days a week? Yikes.
My advice – having had multiple care settings and f-ked up a couple times — the teacher is the person who matters most. The director, you can love her or him, but the teacher is the one who matters.
What a weird experience.
We plan to avoid pre-school altogether. We can’t afford the “good” ones here and the mediocre and/or scary ones are not worth the moolah to us. So we are un-preschooling. I’ve got Bean in some playgroups and we’re basing the rest on constructivist principles and some open classroom curricula that I liked from my experiences via two ed. degrees. I’ll check in with you in a few years and let you know how it went
Yuck. Corporate preschool. Yuck. I know the search angst. The looking is grueling. You’re right; it’s not satisfying to argue with a robot.
mom–the actual teacher aspect was another thing that got to me–she mentioned all the turnover, and wasn’t enthusiastic about giving me any meaningful conversation with a teacher. I will keep that advice in mind as I look and make sure I get some good time with the teacher.
Bianca–I had always planned to avoid pre-school, too–I actually don’t even know why I’m visiting these places all of a sudden. I think as he gets closer to kindergarten age, I got curious about what was out there. If I fall in love with a place, we might do it. If not, just as well, I guess. Un-preschooling–I like that.