As the kids and I walked along a path in the woods this morning, we passed quite a large dog being walked by quite a large man. I try to keep my kids from touching strange dogs they encounter in the woods (which, now that I think about, never actually works), but the thrill of seeing this giant animal overwhelmed the two-year-old (as it always does), and he raced toward it. “Say hello, but we won’t touch him, Chris…” I say, only to be drowned out by the dog-walker: “No, no, he’s really friendly. He won’t hurt him; he’s great with little kids,” and more insistently as I hold Chris’s hand, “Seriously, he’s really friendly!” Which begs the question: How I do I really know you are friendly, let alone your dog, Mr. Stranger in the Woods?
While I was nearly 100% certain that none of us were going to attack each other, and the man and his dog certainly seemed as nice as they could be, I don’t tend to hand over decisions about the safety of my kids to nice guys in the woods. And, to be fair, while he could also be reasonably sure that we would attack neither him nor his dog, he shouldn’t necessarily trust that I could keep my toddler from grabbing his dog’s tail or poking him in the eye–even if he’s never done it before . . . and even if it were meant with love. It’s a toddler’s nature–like a dog’s–to be somewhat unpredictable.
So, I propose this: Next time, let’s all just say hello, and maybe trade some inane, friendly comments about the weather and how the rain finally stopped and how beautiful the dog is and how cute the kids are, and then, without any of us touching each other, licking each other, grabbing anyone’s fur, or slurping on anybody’s face, just move on by with a friendly wave.
Not to compare your child with my dog — but I constantly encounter a similar issue.
I’ll be walking my nutjob of a jack russell terrier when up comes joe or jane doe with their dog who is unleashed. Now, I’m happy for them that their dogs will not go and promptly get run over by a bus, but I hate when their dog sprints up to us only for the owner to say, “he’s friendly – no worries” from a block and a half away as I begin to clench my little 14-pound-psycho’s leash.
Here’s the thing — my dog is NOT friendly, so when I’m walking my dog (esp. with my little kids), and their friendly dog comes into our space because they are off leash, it’s a problem! I don’t want the kids to see my dog bite some giant affable lab only to have the lab (justifiably) eat my dog. That’s hard before breakfast what with all the gnashing teeth and all.
So, hey you dog walkers, it’s cool you have freindly dogs, but remember those of us with children (in Marjorie’s case) and pets (in mine) can’t make any promises and please do a sister a solid and let us decide if we want to befriend your little pal.
I’m glad to see a post from you…I was starting to worry. It’s good to know that you are fine and wandering the woods with strangers
Good luck with that strategy next time. It’s probably best.
But, it’s kind of sad we approach every stranger as a potential danger.
Mom, feel free to compare your dog to my child.
I seem to have done the same thing above… I’m with you on the whole not forcing your dog (or child!) on anyone else…or being ready to suffer the consequences…
Thanks, Vikki–I should do more blogging and less being in the middle of the woods with strange men, I guess.
Traceee, yeah, my strategy works with the 4 yr. old, but not so much with the little guy. And it is sad to have to be wary of people sometimes, but truth be told, I actually didn’t think the stranger was nearly as potentially dangerous as the dog…or my kid…
Apparently I’m a little more trusting of strange dogs than you, but only a little! Our rule is my kids must always ask to be introduced to a strange dog by the owner, if we haven’t been introduced and told that patting is ok then we don’t touch.
Last week I suddenly became a dog owner for the first time in my life, she’s a 2.5 year old staffy/mastiff cross and she loves people of all sizes, other dogs however I am much less sure of and I keep her on a very short lead whenever we encounter one. I was rather bemused when, at my son’s soccer training last week, 2 different dog owners (both with their dogs on leads) blithely wandered up and allowed their small, bouncy, yappy, bite-sized dogs to leap at Clara’s nose. I am so not paying the vet bills if an encounter like that goes horribly wrong. Proper introductions are the way to go for dogs and kids I’m thinking!
Btw, I’ve been reading for a while and I can’t even remember if I’ve commented before or not, if not then hello!
LOL. We are dog people (especially with other people’s dogs that I don’t have to take care of!). I always encourage my girls to ask politely if a dog is friendly and then to pet it gently.
My kids have grown up with our dog and even our 2 year old knows to not pull tails etc. But that took a LOT of toddler training!
It is hard to try to teach your children that most people are nice and trustworthy while at at the same time trying to protect them from that small minority of loonies. I don’t want my kids to be paranoid, but I certainly don’t want them to be overly trusting or reckless, either.
This reminds me of the postman who waved away my concerns when my little dog jumped up on his truck. “That’s ok,” he said. “I give her treats.” So that’s why she takes off after every mailtruck in a five mile vicinity. It’s weird how we condition the kids and animals in our lives without even being aware. Friendly waves all around.
Ha Ha! I’m the mom that will actually point out dogs to her child and ask if she wants to say hello. I can usually tell from the reaction of the owner whether we’ll be welcome, and I always ask first. But, I guess I’m pretty much your enemy here since now all these dogs think licking strange kids is fair game
Sorry.
Ah ha! Now I know–it’s all serahrose’s fault that my kids come home from the park covered in the slime of strange dogs every day! And Theresa’s postman. They’re training dogs to be so damned friendly.
I always thought I was such a dog person, but with how unbelievably annoyed I get at my own poor dog, and how I’m not in love with every dog I see anymore, I guess I’m sort of not one, after all. Kind of sad. Oh well.
Is that your dog in the picture? He’s exactly what a dog should look like.
great toddler training information
child communication