One of Martin’s favorite friends from school has a father who stays home with the two young children and their mother works at an office full-time.
The mother told me about a typical sort of day for her husband when he’s out in the world with his children. He took their daughter for a haircut, and when he asked the stylist to cut it shorter than usual, she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t cut this little girl’s hair, she said, unless the mother gave permission.
The assumptions stacked up here–that he had a partner, that that partner was female, that there was a mother in their lives at all, that he was not authorized to make decisions–are staggering.
# mimbles:
April 5th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Ye gods.
280 Main:
April 5th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I know. And they have other stories about him being treated like some sort of inept babysitter/possible pedophile.
Libby:
April 5th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
My husband stayed home with both kids at various times and had similar stuff happen to him. Never the haircut–he cut both kids’ hair at home, actually, and did a great job–but the treatment as inept babysitter/possible pedophile?–yup, all the time. Women in parks (moms or nannies) gave him the cold shoulder/fisheye all the time. It made us both crazy.
Vikki:
April 6th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Wow. I’m surprised…shouldn’t be, I suppose.
Marya:
April 6th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Mmmmm I was thinking of this post last night while watching the NCAA Women’s bball game…all the language used by the commentators is so gender specific- and male dominated…
And the entire tourney gets such short shrift in mainstream media which is such a travesty…
and just to throw it out there because I have no where else to complain- this very amazing, insightful coach from NJ did *not* get elected to the 2009 enshrinement class at the Hoop Hall today =(
Breedermama:
April 7th, 2009 at 12:16 am
How incredibly rude and out of line. I hope he told her that he would not be using her as a stylist again. I would not be paying anyone who took that sort of liberty with my personal life. What a jerk!
Rachel:
April 7th, 2009 at 12:17 am
If I were him, I would have grabbed the scissors, cut a big chunk out of the daughter’s hair, and then said, “So what now?”
I’m not sure I deal with things in the best manner though.
Must Be Motherhood:
April 7th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I hope he didn’t pay for the cut! What rubbish.