The baby ate a slice of jalapeño off of the floor last week. I saw him do it, but thought it was a blueberry, so I let him. (Disturbing subtexts of this post that I will not be touching on: 1. There are both jalapeños and blueberries available on my kitchen floor. 2. I do not stop my baby from eating what he finds on said floor.)
Hot Fireshot (REALLY Hot Fireshot in this case) just barely put the jalapeño slice into his mouth before spitting it out and screaming holy hell. Whatever reaction I might have imagined that a baby would have upon tasting a jalapeño was nothing compared to the reaction he actually had. I gave him water and ice bits, then I gave him a plum to suck on and I nursed him. I desperately ripped off his pajamas to see if there was a rash, and considered calling 911 because I was sure I read in the newspaper that a baby was badly hurt from eating a jalapeño. Then, suddenly, he stopped crying, grinned at me, threw his arms up in the air and said, “Touchdown!”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that ending! Adam just asked me “What’s so funny?” so now I am going to read this to him.
*chuckles some more*
HYSTERICAL, lady. Hysterical. (And now we go have our gin and tonics in the grass?)
Love that you’re blogging again!~
that is too damn funny!
The subtexts are disturbing in the least….makes me feel more at home. I once cut jalapenos and then went upstairs to put my daughter to bed. I washed my hands but that stuff lingers. I then put diaper cream on her rashy vulva and put her diaper on. Moments later she started SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. I felt horrible. (p.s. I hope it was okay to use vulva here) (p.p.s. Shoot. If not, I’ve now used it twice.)
Your blog is blowing my mind. Just getting over here to look around and every post is giving me inner exclamation points, but this one is just priceless. Love the tag line, and totally respect and relate to you re: points 1 and 2.
Julie @ the calm before the stork´s last blog ..jonah’s excellent morning in pictures
Julie, thanks. That was an awfully nice thing to say. I have to say, I was completely transfixed by your blog. I’m so glad to be reading it.