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Why I Lie

Friday, August 1st, 2008

I now lie to strangers when they ask me (and my alarmingly enormous midsection): “Do you know what you’re having?”  I say: “Nope.”

(I do know, though.  It’s boy #3.)

The top five reasons to lie–especially when Boy #1 and Boy #2 are with me…and listening:

5. “Another boy?  Well, you can just keep trying!”

4. “Oh, no–you are going to need plenty of patience!”

3. “I hope it’s a little girl in there!”

2. “Don’t lose hope!  My [insert family member or friend] had 3 boys before finally getting a girl!”

1. (And my favorite–from just last week…)  “Oh, God is playing an evil little trick on you!”

But to the lady at the plant store yesterday:  I forgot to lie to you when you asked, but you said: “Oh, that’s wonderful, because you make such adorable boys.”  Thanks.

***

I hope that Kris will not mind if I add these excerpts from Garden Varieties.  Often, when I get frustrated with all the boy/girl/expectations stuff–especially when a poor baby hasn’t even been born yet, I think of these two so perfectly-put ideas from her blog:

From her post called Three:

[I could substitute "boy" for "girl" in the following...or keep "girl"...either way...it's just so right on.]

I’ve never understood why people want a girl. You don’t get a girl, you get someone so unique, so unexpected, so utterly and completely themselves, there’s not much connection to whatever it is we think a girl will be.

I wanted a child and I got a Lu, and she is exactly the right Lu for me.

And, also, from her post called “Forces of Nature,” which I love:

As Lu and Nell grow older cultural expectations will become more pressing, throwing acceptable differences between boys and girls into sharp and disappointing relief, but I love that at the moment they are simply themselves with no thought of what they ‘should’ be.

Thank you, Kris.  These posts have always stuck in my mind…